Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
