so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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