if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
