girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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