I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
why is half of my head shaved?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
