He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize