im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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