I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
