you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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