we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize