Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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