so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize