Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
