well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
