Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
