in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
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