We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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