your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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