considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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