Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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