epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
