so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
wow bdsm is so cute
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
