I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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