you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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