OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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