i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
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If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
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And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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