god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
