my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
