For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
