Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
