what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
