Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Operation Purity has been aborted
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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