you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
