the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize