Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
