I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
