C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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