I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
