When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize