who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
barbara walters just said penis...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
