Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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