Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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