Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.

  (360): View more from Washington

  im coming over.

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  (503): Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call. (360): im coming over. http://tfl.nu/x6qr
  Replies (8) Good night (3667) Bad night (545)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.

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  (989): i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today. http://tfl.nu/t5a7
  Replies (13) Good night (1026) Bad night (3843)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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  (407): sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch. http://tfl.nu/v1iz
  Replies (47) Good night (12151) Bad night (1258)
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  (408): View more from California

  if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place

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  (408): if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place http://tfl.nu/15wd
  Replies (33) Good night (6033) Bad night (1389)
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  (805): View more from California

  The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.

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  (805): The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery. http://tfl.nu/hbuh
  Replies (7) Good night (1324) Bad night (4395)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.

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  (215): he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out. http://tfl.nu/9ic8
  Replies (8) Good night (4739) Bad night (923)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.

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  (206): Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up. http://tfl.nu/qld8
  Replies (3) Good night (1661) Bad night (957)
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  (714): View more from California

  sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.

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  (714): sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast. http://tfl.nu/a05x
  Replies (9) Good night (3318) Bad night (1053)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway

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  (262): say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway http://tfl.nu/917j
  Replies (16) Good night (1233) Bad night (442)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor

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  (717): I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor http://tfl.nu/quon
  Replies (9) Good night (1092) Bad night (494)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.

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  (218): There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon. http://tfl.nu/foxi
  Replies (5) Good night (1539) Bad night (372)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.

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  (570): I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/xtaz
  Replies (6) Good night (304) Bad night (585)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.

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  (360): I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town. http://tfl.nu/phek
  Replies (5) Good night (576) Bad night (325)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night

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  (508): I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night http://tfl.nu/3slk
  Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (275)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.

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  (908): Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you. http://tfl.nu/4vsb
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (236)

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