what day is it and did you see me today?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
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She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.