I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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