Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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(803): Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning. http://tfl.nu/55ug

Replies (12) Good night (4472) Bad night (1003)
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(850): View more from Florida

Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.

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(850): Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober. http://tfl.nu/1ay2

Replies (44) Good night (3537) Bad night (856)
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(208): View more from Idaho

opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling

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(208): opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling http://tfl.nu/a6db

Replies (11) Good night (6197) Bad night (607)
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(310): View more from California

as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'

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(310): as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!' http://tfl.nu/csk1

Replies (34) Good night (5925) Bad night (1185)
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(850): View more from Florida

All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.

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(850): All of my current injuries can be related back to sex. http://tfl.nu/ncc6

Replies (14) Good night (5285) Bad night (931)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.

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(860): I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night. http://tfl.nu/69i0

Replies (57) Good night (1442) Bad night (6792)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.

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(715): i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead. http://tfl.nu/xiio

Replies (14) Good night (2105) Bad night (7632)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.

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(608): Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college. http://tfl.nu/sy1r

Replies (19) Good night (4180) Bad night (1194)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"

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(732): im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob" http://tfl.nu/kv4b

Replies (20) Good night (4486) Bad night (789)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice

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(732): There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice http://tfl.nu/ufj4

Replies (7) Good night (2381) Bad night (773)
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(903): View more from Texas

i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.

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(903): i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups. http://tfl.nu/yjoi

Replies (5) Good night (1237) Bad night (722)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol

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(503): Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol http://tfl.nu/9mqs

Replies (10) Good night (1708) Bad night (982)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Sunday is the day of rest.

(857): View more from Massachusetts

As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.

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(857): Sunday is the day of rest. (857): As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest. http://tfl.nu/lma5

Replies (3) Good night (2061) Bad night (505)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.

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(908): And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on. http://tfl.nu/q88b

Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (574)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning

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(336): Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning http://tfl.nu/wjev

Replies (4) Good night (339) Bad night (761)

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