Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.

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(650): I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke. http://tfl.nu/5x23

Replies (7) Good night (956) Bad night (617)
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(214): View more from Texas

On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.

(1-214): View more from Texas

You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously

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(214): On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi. (1-214): You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously http://tfl.nu/z61a

Replies (29) Good night (914) Bad night (2396)
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(205): View more from Alabama

TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.

(205): View more from Alabama

better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.

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(205): TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush. (205): better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush. http://tfl.nu/xveq

Replies (38) Good night (990) Bad night (5217)
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(813): View more from Florida

Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

(1-813): View more from Florida

I ordered a moonbounce.

(813): View more from Florida

Fuck, you win.

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(813): Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party. (1-813): I ordered a moonbounce. (813): Fuck, you win. http://tfl.nu/qedv

Replies (39) Good night (10446) Bad night (1062)
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(719): View more from Colorado

On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.

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(719): On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour. http://tfl.nu/o2dj

Replies (6) Good night (3199) Bad night (665)
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(971): View more from Oregon

We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...

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(971): We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable... http://tfl.nu/8m1y

Replies (12) Good night (3060) Bad night (1164)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.

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(513): He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets. http://tfl.nu/5i0f

Replies (7) Good night (6129) Bad night (932)
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(817): View more from Texas

Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.

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(817): Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up. http://tfl.nu/ymie

Replies (20) Good night (1023) Bad night (3930)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable

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(802): Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable http://tfl.nu/50aw

Replies (7) Good night (1084) Bad night (2473)
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(254): View more from Texas

Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??

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(254): Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction?? http://tfl.nu/xlz3

Replies (12) Good night (644) Bad night (1697)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.

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(609): I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot. http://tfl.nu/64ct

Replies (14) Good night (2433) Bad night (641)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?

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(405): Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it? http://tfl.nu/wmow

Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (378)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make

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(814): Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make http://tfl.nu/r41j

Replies (7) Good night (849) Bad night (278)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.

(303): View more from Colorado

This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.

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(720): Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag. (303): This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two. http://tfl.nu/02n3

Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (280)
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(619): View more from California

I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.

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(619): I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays. http://tfl.nu/ooc2

Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (227)

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