im holly from the hills drunk
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?