In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
