even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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