Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
