somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
