fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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