is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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