i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
