We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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