Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
