You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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