I'm jealous of your bromance
do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?