2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it