So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood