dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
