Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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