I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
