Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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