You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
