Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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