I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Too much gin, very little bucket
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
