This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
