you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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