I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
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I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
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