I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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